She would have liked to think that it was a heavenly experience, and almost regretted that it had not been. Indeed, everything had been very earthy, very material. As material as that his body had pinned hers all the time. As material was that her anger had been abducted by a kiss, which had been dominated any thought of hers and, futhermore, had left a sense of loss as it ended. She knew that these things should make her get angry, but now she lacked any strength, while her eyes were trying to get his expression in vain. Why did he it, if it was so obvious that, to him, she was just a burden which, only God knows which reason, is committed to saving her time and again?
“But, what do you want?” she dared to ask at last.
Kouga did not answered soon, and Kaoru thought he perhaps would do not it, but he did.
“ That I want, is you to remain safe.” The soft tone, almost sweet, of these words were suddenly replaced by another one that she knew too well. “And that’s because you'll come home with me.”
Then he jumped up and pulled her hands strongly to make her up, and she got so suprised that wiggled a bit before getting on her feet. Why should he be so rude? He do not have the slightest idea how to behave to a woman. But when he pulled her forcefully going back home, her anger returned.
So, he had discovered a new weapon to subject her to his will, using it successfully. Kaoru no longer knew if she was angry to him or to herself for having yielded to ... a mirage! Then, he liked mirages...
“Wait a moment!”
Kouga stopped suddenly and turned his head. Now she was able to see his face by the light of the moon. He looked almost fearful, so she emboldened.
Using the hand he had taken, she pulled him until almost their bodies touched. She smiled gently, then she took his head between her hands, enjoying first his bewilderment, and after, his embarrassment. Finally, she attracted him to herself and set her lips on his. She barely closed her eyes, and saw his ones opening in astonishment, but soon they softened and he began to kiss back.
Kouga's arms were about to surround her when she put all her strength to push him away. She was almost sorry for him, his face amazed and disappointed like a child whom someone had been taken a sweet. Did it hurt? Good, maybe now he will know how it feels when others impose their will.
His face did not bode good things. Stubborn as very few ones, Kouga grabbed the top of her arm, almost in the armpit, and forced her to rush into the house, half pushing half dragging her. His fingers pinned painfully in her flesh, but her pride prevented her from moaning now. However, some tears began to flow without any obstacle, protected by the night. The bad lot had not learnt the lesson she had intended to give: he imposed his will once again. She felt tossed, an humiliated woman, as a cake ready to be eaten, and not by a horror.
Ruthless, Kouga dragged her upstairs, causing her to stumble. Almost threw her into her room and closed the door with a bang. Unbalanced by the sudden entry, Kaoru was launched against the stool she had full of paints and brushes and fell to the ground with them.
She remained on the floor long time. After anger was gone, which had proved useless, just the cry of helplessness and incomprehension was left. How had she bumped into such a heartless one, whom she had to thank for saving her life so many times? She was sure it that would have been better if he had killed her when he was going to. Why had she gone to land into his house? Worse, why her heart accelerated when he was close, and why she so often caught herself thinking about him? Why she felt her soul deeply hurted when he treated her like that, which deserved only disdain! She could not believe she fell in love with such a dull! It was not possible!
As her heart was able to quiet and her tears dried, she got up, went to the window and stared outside. The moon was not visible from here, but she felt protected by the prevailing darkness, which was a refreshing balm for her hurt heart.
* * *
At the same time, a dark shape was walking in the garden trying, too, to ease his own wounds. He knew he was rejected and he felt hurt by his own actions, but he did not dare to regret about them. He walked aimlessly and, despite his ability to see through the nightly darkness more than any human being, he was unable to see anything around him.
Suddenly a light drew his attention. It came from a room in the house, which window had got a black, sharp, silhouette. He knew who it was, but he felt happy to star her and not being able to see her face, and that she could not see his, either.
In turn, the motionless shape at the window felt reassured, too, knowing that her face would not be seen, nor she would able to see the guy in the garden’s look.
So, they remained a long time like this, looking each other and not seeing themselves, and feeling safe. Then, after their voices silenced, their souls were heard at last, and free to love.
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