dimecres, 10 de desembre de 2008

GARO fanfic - Dreams (Ch.2)

Kouga woke up facedown. The first thing his eyes saw was Kaoru’s beautiful face and her tender, delicious neck. He had his left arm wrapped around her smooth, desirable body. And his first thought was “she’s mine!” But the satisfaction those things gave to him was quickly vanished by the feeling that something was not working.

He turned on his back and his eyes landed on the canopy above his big bed. His look followed the elegant folds of its red fabric until their beginning, as they became deeper and deeper, true big wrinkles. Fascinating. Wrinkles. Something was seriously wrinkled. His plans for their first night.

It was not supposed to happen like this. He had wanted it to be more than a natural extension of their love. He wished it would be his personal homage to Kaoru. Instead of it, he got overwhelmed by his own desire. That amazed him too much. And their first night, ruined!

Kouga got up and hurried to the training room to vent his anger against himself.

* * *

Kaoru found very dificult to meet Kouga that day. His training sessions became longer than habitual.

As she waited for him to have dinner, wondered once and again why he was avoiding to see her. After what happened last night, it made no sense.

Certainly, it was not what she had looked forward to, not even expected. Kouga was not a romantic man, she knew, neither a kind one. Although she had the right to expect a slow and soft beginning at the first time, she only got a lack of time to adjust her mind and body, even roughness. Left aside that incidentally she felt robbed from herself by a lot of amazing sensations, some fear and pain ruled last night. She needed to make him to understand this was not the way. Would his love be enough to accept it?

Kaoru decided to enter to the training room and opened its door. He did not seem to notice. She stood at the wall under a light to make her visible. Still nothing.

Gonza came in bringing a red envelope. Kouga stopped his training to attend it. After its destruction, as he reached the door. turned to her.

“Are you going to remain there forever?”

“Kouga!” Kaoru got her chance and hurried to him. “Wait a moment!”

“There is a horror over there.” And started to move away again.

“Please!” she yelled.

He spun himself to her.

“You do know those things kill people. You’re such a child!” And left.

Kaoru did not understand a lot of things about him, yet, and began to be afraid she could not. Never. The girl began to suspect a major cause of his behavior today. After last night, has he lost his interest on her? She did not want to believe it. She could not, he risked so much for her sake! Has his love just vanished? An inner commotion flew like a tide, avoiding her legs to support her body.

* * *

Some few nights later, Kouga came back at home from his hunting. Gonza received him as usual but, when the young man was going upstairs, added:

“Please, don’t be too hard to her.”

Kouga stared at him in surprise, and some alarms began to sound within his head. He went upstairs slowlier. As reached the top, he saw Kaoru sat on the floor with her back against the door of his room. He swallowed, and went forward, slowly, silently. He stopped in front of her. Her head was bent down at the side of the door. Asleep. She was lovely, he thought; her face was the light enlightening his mind: the world looked a better place with Kaoru beside him. He knew she had tried to talk to him for several days, but he was angry and did not want to show it.

Indeed, Kouga had tracked his anger until its beginning. It started when she got that letter about the grant. Each cell, each nerve in his body, felt hurt by those news... specially by her illussion to leave. His fighting self did not accept it, and defended itself as a wild animal by marking its territory. So, that compulsive desire ruining their first night was born. Next, it... and he... punished her by forbidding her to be close to him in any way. They were like strangers again, although it hurt him, and also her, he was sure.

Kouga took the sleeping girl up in his arms to carry her to her bed, but she woke up half way and stared at him. He stared back, his hopes she would not scold him tonight, gone.

“Please, let me go”, she said. He did it, reluctant. “Why do you avoid me?” she began.

“You should be in bed.”

“I can’t understand you, please, help me.”

He could feel her desperation, ripping his heart in the process. But he was used to ignore his pain. Hers too?

“It was this, then,” her voice lost firmness, “that night we shared, there wasn’t any horrors, but you needed a prey.”

No!, his soul shouted. Kouga saw as his beloved one, her eyes moistened, turned to leave, just like that other night, the one that a fish horror uncovered his secret. He remembered it too well: she ran away from him. Not again! He had to do something, right now!

He gripped her arm, stretched and spun her to him.

“This isn’t true!”

She let herself go roughly.

“Which is the truth, then?”

Kouga could not answer, how to do it, as he was so used to keep each thought and feeling to himself. He took her hand with his both and put it on his chest. She must feel his heartbeats, he wanted Kaoru to know that he only was alive since she came into his life. She is his life, does she not understand it? He need to keep her so badly!

The young man did not resist when Kaoru tried to sink within the depths of his dark eyes. Even feeling undeffended, he trusted and welcame her.

Then, Kaoru’s hand went beyond his, upper his chest, and softly caressed his cheek.

“You don’t like I to go to Italy, don’t you?”

Kouga turned his face enough to put a light kiss in that hand. Her thumb started to brush lightly along his lips, causing they to part. The boy felt a danger and had to take that lovely hand softly away from him.

“Goodnight”, she said, as went into her room.

“Night”.

He stood where he was, his body claiming her, but now his will ruled. Kouga breathed deeply to ease his tension. Then, he heard something through Kaoru’s door. She was crying.

4 comentaris:

Yee ha dit...

Oh mine...that is just so good! Should have known 'that' will happened to his first attempt, so much better than I'd have imagined. His anger, hurt, frustration and reluctance to make himself understood are all classic traits of Kouga which you have portrayed brilliantly. So is Kaoru's feeling of confusion and misunderstanding of this complicated situation are simply wonderful...love it! Thanks!

Mitra ha dit...

I'm happy you liked it. I knew you'd understand.

When I wrote the first chapter I didn't think that Kouga would have chosen that night as "the night". In my mind, he was still planning it. Kaoru's grant didn't fire any event; it "fired" Kouga because he didn't want she to leave, and he had to show himself that "she's mine!". You know: male possessiveness. It left aside his will and he wasn't able to stop it. Kouga is learning the wide fan of human feelings by the hard way, my poor boy. He had to realize its existence before to control it.

Anònim ha dit...

I can't have access to chapter 4! When I clicked on it, it said the story is gone!

Mitra ha dit...

Hello, nice to see you over here!

Indeed, it looks like the 4th chapter link in the Fanworks Summary was not working. Now, it does. But I posted it yesterday, so it could be read from the main page.

I hope you like my blog. Merry Christmas!